Everyone always reflects on the past year as if our lives re only measured by the time we spend on earth. An intricate system of measures to shackle our lives. We’re afraid to become 365 days older, we wish we still were ‘X’ age, we look forward to monumental stages in our lives like turning 13, 16, 18,21,25, 30, 40, etc. We complain about the hours in a day, how we need eight hours of sleep, how we hate working 9-5. Time is only a system we created in order to maintain order. Yes it makes things easier when we need to figure out when to meet for lunch but maybe on a larger scale each year is only holding us back. Why wait until the beginning of the year to make positive changes, to create goals. Resolutions are for those who can’t dream everyday.
Every year I go through and make a list of what I want to do to kick off the New Year instead of starting it right then and there. Well this year I want to have resolutions each and every day and maybe that’s a resolution in itself but I’m not going to write here about all my wishes, dreams and thoughts. I’m not going to say whether or not I am happy last year is over and a New year has already begun. Yes, 2013 brough some amazing accomplishments such as helping to produce DYDH’s first NY Fashion Week show for Marimacho, I’ve found a better understanding of who I am as a now 25 Year old adult, I’ve refused to listen to voices and have seen the true colours of people around me that I have loved for so many years, I’ve become the slow healing and rebuilding process with my blood family, I have found a new interest in the discovery of my ancestry, I’ve met some of the most fascinating lovers, friends, acquaintances, and collaborators, as well as some of the least. I’ve had the damaging of heartbreak, and the most joyous moments of love that I will always keep with me. I’ve felt diamonds and been pushed in the dirt. I’ve been assaulted and praised.I;ve given less of a fuck, and I’ve had the best of fucks. I’ve fallen into trances, dances, romances. I’ve evolved, devolved, resolved. And besides my amazing chosen family by my side what has gotten me through it all is the sounds pulsating in my head whether the music is in my headphones our pounding waves of grey matter. Thus the best way I can express my 2013 without ranting any longer than I am or going through a list of all my accomplishments or mistakes is to make my list of the songs that took me higher than any drug could in 2013. Now some may have not even come out this past year but they made my list of most played, most felt, most remembered songs of the past 12 months in somewhat of an order…ish.
Enjoy and here I look forward to the amazing beats that make its way on my long pavement walks, and deranged nauseating metro rides, to the ecstasy of the discotheque, to the mornings under my sea of blanket forts, to when I wrap my arm around you to fall asleep.
1.Jaymes Young -Dark Star (Kieley Rich remix)
2.When Saints Go Machine- Fail Forever (Nicolas Jaar Remix)
3.ViLLΛGE – Wanna Tell You (Henry Krinkle Remix)
4. BANKS- This is What it Feels Like
-I cannot wait to have sex to this song. Something more passionate than a hot fuck, maybe even make love.
5. MS MR – Think of You (RAC Remix)
-A great dance track as well as an interesting break u song.
6.FOALS- Late Night (Koreless remix)
-A total im feeling it song. Some days it can make you feel understood feeling blue or make you nostalgic of a mixed palette of great sadness and happiness. A journey of all nighters that made you feel like heaven only to wake up next to hell.
7.Lady Gaga -Swine (live itunes festival)
-Cannot wait for Pride 2014 pig parties. I picked the live version because it was a little more rock n roll which ave me great hope for the album version which did not connect to me as much…so yeah.
8.Black Atlass – Paris (acoustic)
-This song meant a lot to me. It inspired me to do my first performance art piece on a stage in front of people, twice. It inspired me to go back and reexamine how it was like growing up multi racial in a predominantly Caucasian suburb. reminiscent of my journey to find my identity outside of just race.
9. Daughter – Amsterdam
10. BiPolar Sunshine- Blossom(Acropolis Sound Remix)
-I swear this is a feel good song. Despite the name I swear it’s not emo?
11. Iggy Azalea- Work
-Can not mention this song considering how many times I played it at 4am.
12. BANKS- Change (Chainsmokers edit)
-The things this song make me feel are beyond words. The emotions of love, disgust, anger, despair, hope, guilt, and healing. Makes me miss you, makes me miss myself.
13.Lady Gaga – Applause
-I have to put this here as it held a top spot as #1 on my itunes until recently and it was the return of Gaga after waiting
14. Taste My Sad- Bear//Face
-I cannot explain the emotional rollercoaster I have tied to this song. Its like every few months it’s a new theme park on Tycoon, bringing a new sense of identity to it. It has been on my play list for the past 13-14months and is the 3rd most played on my itunes. Probably would be number 1 if I didn’t have so many versions, remixes. The sample of How to Dress brings a sense of despair, of deep internal love whilst at the same time bringing trap dance, a bit of grit, and more of a fleeing fling considering its only two and a half minutes long thus repeat comes in handy.
-Foster the People -Houdini (RAC Remix)
-Sky Ferreira- Night Time, My Time
– Majical Cloudz – Childhood’s End
-Octa Octa- Let Me See You